You Are Worthy of Love

Ten years ago, I was leading a daylong meditation workshop in Boston. After studying Buddhist teachings and talking about how to apply them to our lives, I encouraged the participants to write down something they were struggling with and submit it anonymously.

We put a dozen slips of paper in a bowl and, one by one, I pulled out these questions and read them aloud for the group to contemplate. It was a moment where I stepped back as teacher and let the group offer one another support. Then I came to a comment that stopped my heart. I’ll never forget the first time I saw it:

“My boyfriend has never said he loves me. I feel unworthy of love. What can I do?”

The group that day had many wise teachings to offer in regards to this situation. But the question haunted me for weeks afterward. I was traveling for one of my early books — to meditation centers, yoga communities, universities, bookstores, everywhere. And the more I traveled, the more I heard various forms of this sentiment:

“I don’t think I’ll ever find someone who will love me for me.”

“If I can’t love myself, how can I expect anyone else to?”