On Heartbreak and Not Giving Up on Anybody

“I’ll be damned Lodro,” you may be thinking, “if I’m not gonna give up my ex. He is a cheating, lying dirtbag and I am for sure going to give him up…the moment I can stop thinking about him every five minutes.”

Let me be very clear: there are times when we might need to cut someone out of our life. That person may be:

• a romantic partner who has hurt us
• a family member who is abusive
• a friend who is insultingly self-absorbed
• a co-worker who tries to turn every conversation into a way to sabotage us

I get that you might need to end regular relations with that person. I am drawing a line between cutting off contact with someone and inwardly giving up on them. Heartbreak can mean loving someone and wishing they would go f*ck themselves at the same time. It’s a confusing emotion because of just that sort of contradiction.

Just because we have been hurt by someone doesn’t mean that they no longer deserve happiness in their lives or are beyond anyone’s help. I’m a firm believer that everyone possesses basic goodness. The Buddha was a living example of someone who was totally spoiled growing up, then tortured himself in the name of spirituality, only to see that he didn’t need to explore external factors in search of peace — he…