Meditation and Grief

People sometimes ask me about the benefits of meditation practice. My go-to answer is a balancing act of the scientifically proven results — you sleep better, develop resilience to stress, improve productivity, to name a few — and my personal experience that my practice has allowed me to show up more fully and authentically for the rest of my life. It has also helped me get really good at holding space for people when they are deeply suffering. When you’re in my line of work, you are surrounded, primarily, by people who are deeply suffering.

The act of meditation is, essentially, a process of getting to know and holding space for all of who we are. Despite what you may see played out in the movies, meditation is not you sitting blissed out as the wind perfectly billows your hair. In reality, it is sitting there while you keep re-playing that awkward conversation you had two days ago. At some point in your practice, you may notice that you’re nowhere near present with the breath, and then get annoyed at yourself and start fresh, only to be “present” for 10 to 30 seconds before your mind drifts off again.

And yet, the more we do this important work, the more we realize that we can hang out with ourselves and not get too frustrated after all. We can become familiar with and, ultimately, embrace all of who we are: the brilliant and creative sides of ourselves as well as the negative, self-doubting parts. While meditation doesn’t always feel “good,” it does allow us a chance to hold our seat and befriend ourselves, which is always good.