A Meditation for Difficult Family Situations

Over the holidays even the happiest of homes can have some difficult dynamics. Little annoyances such as decades-old bad habits and relatives’ fixed expectations of you as a younger version of yourself can detract from what should otherwise be a joyous and celebratory time. Families tend to have their own stuck energies, which can, thankfully, be shifted.

There is a Buddhist children’s story that can be helpful here. A long time ago in China, a monk climbed up a tree. He sat there meditating, largely undisturbed by the outside world, sometimes imparting thoughtful advice to people passing by. He became known as “Birdsnest” for his high roosting ground.

At one point a local ruler heard of Birdsnest and set out to meet him. After a long and arduous journey, he found the correct tree. He shouted up at the monk, telling him that he had a very important question to ask of him. He waited for Birdsnest to reply but no response came. He continued anyway: “This is my question. Tell me, Birdsnest, what is it that all the wise ones have taught? Can you tell me the most important thing the Buddha ever said?” He waited again.

Finally, Birdsnest called down. He said, “Don’t do bad things. Always do good things. That’s what all the Buddhas taught.” The local ruler, not surprisingly, became annoyed. He yelled at Birdsnest, “That’s…